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[Watches] Thread for the appreciation of truly smart timekeeping

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With the advent of the smartwatch and the ubiquity of the cell phone, it's probably easy to dismiss the wristwatch as an anachronism. It's an idea I hear tossed around a lot, and it's what I thought for a while as well. If it's not that, then it's the idea that the watch is solely a fashion accessory. After all, most of the modern fascination with wristwatches is either a) the most expensive watches you can buy, with ludicrous styling and complications
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or b) what James Bond wore, which is almost as much of his image in a given film as what he drives
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Then I borrowed my dad's cheap waterproof Timex for a trip to Costa Rica over the summer as my only electronic device besides my camera, and got used to wearing one. At the same time, I was reading Gibson's cyberpunk novel All Tomorrow's Parties, which features a few tangents on wristwatches as part of its plot. So of course, I got curious, and I ended up buying my own watch when I got home, as a bit of a further experiment.

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Behold, the Vostok Amphibia. Known for being durable as hell (as in, designed to be nearly nukeproof and taken to immense depths below the sea) in the cold Soviet landscape, it's the Lada car of watches. It's also, funny enough, the watch Steve Zissou wore as part of his bizarro-Cousteau characterization (the real diver extraordinaire being known for rocking Rolexes). See, I figured when I bought it that if I can appreciate a kinda cheap and occasionally inaccurate mechanical watch, then getting interested in watches might be a good idea. If I hated it, then at least I have a phone for checking the time.
And I've ended up loving it. I don't check my phone impulsively anymore, which used to tank my battery. I get compliments on it more often than I'd expected. Winding it has become part of my daily routine, and a good way to satisfy my occasional manual fixation. And now, after also grabbing a digital G-Shock and a metal-banded Seiko in the months since, I know what I do and don't like in watches, at least on this relative low end of things.
Here are my watch opinions:
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  • 37-40 millimeters is the ideal size for a watch to look good on the wrist, in spite of the fashion trend over the last decade to go bigger.
  • Buy a watch you know will last. This is why I don't like smartwatches on principle - spending the same amount of money on a good "dumb" watch is a smarter purchase because it'll last longer by a lifetime if you treat it well.
  • A simple, readable dial is all a watch needs, though certain mechanical complications are pretty cool if used sensibly.
  • Digital is a little goofy for looking stylish, but supremely usable, especially in sports contexts.
  • The Japanese make the best cheap watches.
  • The single best watch per dollar is, objectively, the G-Shock. Also the one brand of watches I make a solid exception for on my "don't go over 40 millimeters" rule.
  • Don't pay more than $300 for a watch with a quartz movement.
  • Mechanical watches are really fun, in the same way vinyl records are. Quartz is fine, though, if rather soulless.
  • Speaking of soulless, a lot of watch brands (looking at you, Fossil) are purveyors of rather soulless fashion objects, regardless of price point. Even a lot of respectable brands pad their pockets with gaudy designs, too. Do some research and be a bit cynical of marketing for just about any brand.
  • On that note, and this is where I get super opinionated: a lot of pricey watches advertise themselves with tenuous and overblown associations to stuff like F1 racing and military units. The only one of these links that is both truly solid and worth celebrating is the Omega Speedmaster's use in the early space program.

So yeah, fuck smartwatches. Put something real on your wrists, SE++. Or if you have something real on your wrist, talk about it!


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